I was cleaning the kitchen this morning when a familiar song came on the radio.

I was transported back to December 19th 1997.

Me and my little sister were in our bedroom listening to the radio, getting dressed in to our jet black clothing, a pair of nervous wrecks, not really talking much, just giving each other the odd reassuring glance, the odd smile, the odd little hug, knowing nothing that we said to each other was going to make that day any easier, knowing what we were about to endure would stay with us forever, knowing we had to try and keep it together for one another and knowing we were the only people in the whole world who knew how the other was feeling.

The day we had been dreading was here, and there was nothing we could do to escape it. The week had been a daze but everything was about to become very real and very final and we weren’t ready….

And then this song came on the radio.

And through stifled sobs I sang along.

I take many things in life as a sign and that day, in that moment as a 14 year old girl getting ready for my dads funeral, one of the hardest days of my life, I instinctively knew he was trying to tell me and my sister something.

I knew Dad wasn’t far away, I sensed that he was close.

I don’t know how we got through that day, but I know that song had a part in it.

I don’t feel my dads presence any more, I haven’t felt it for years.

I used to sense he was around all the time and it brought me great comfort back then. The older I got and the longer I had to live without my dad in my life, the more I hoped the day would come when I didn’t feel his presence any more.

I didn’t want to be selfish by needing him here, I wanted and needed to let him go. I wanted him to know we were ok and he could rest.

There isn’t a single day goes by that I don’t miss my dad but I know he is finally at peace and that makes me happy.

Every now and then I hear this song and I smile. Even now sometimes I need that song to remind me of how far I’ve come and what my Dad wanted me to know. Whenever it plays I know it’s a sign, I know what my Dad was trying to tell me and my sister that day and what he reminds me still.

He was telling us to take the love we had for one another and give it to others, to live a life full of love and happiness and to spread that happiness around, to help others in times of struggle by small gestures that help them grow, much like he needed himself. He was telling us the most important things in life are love, laughter and happiness and that they are contagious.
He was telling us not to cry, not to be sad, that however hard life gets that we should embrace it and most importantly to always be happy.

He was telling us everything would be ok, he was telling me we would be ok, he was telling me whatever life throws our way everything will be ok, that I would be ok….

And he was right.

‘Shiny happy people laughing
Meet me in the crowd, people, people
Throw your love around, love me, love me
Take it into town, happy, happy
Put it in the ground where the flowers grow
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Everyone around, love them, love them
Put it in your hands, take it, take it
There’s no time to cry, happy, happy
Put it in your heart where tomorrow shines
Gold and silver shine
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Whoa, here we go
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy people laughing
Shiny happy people holding hands
Shiny happy…’